Welcoming My Second Saturn Return

December 17, 2012
Barbara Sinclair Welcoming My Second Saturn Return with friends

Today’s my birthday. The big 5-9. I’m not looking for more birthday wishes or applause, but it does make me smile that I’m even sharing this with you. My friend, Mary, will attest to the fact that most of my life I’ve proclaimed “I don’t want any attention and I don’t need any attention.” I was always happy staying in the background, being a worker bee, not attracting any attention.

But in the last few years, something slightly miraculous has happened. I’m poking my head out, testing the waters. I’m raising my hand. I’m speaking my mind (sometimes even with a microphone!), and sharing what I’ve lived and what I’ve learned, especially here on this blog. I have to admit, it feels liberating and necessary. At any rate, it seems like there’s no turning back.

Welcoming My Second Saturn Return

Perhaps this newfound courage comes with maturity. But I think a good chunk of it has to do with the company I’ve been keeping. It was just about three years ago when I heard a voice on Hay House Radio talking about energy healing.  Something about the voice drew me in and in just a couple of weeks, I found myself at a workshop (my first ever) being given by Deborah King, the owner of the voice on the radio. The rest is history–I became one of Deborah’s students and part of a family of open-hearted healers from all over the world.

Little old Sagittarius me began traveling the country with Deborah and my fellow students. And with each trip I took, I learned more about myself and the world around me. Imagine being able to be yourself, scars and all, in the company of people who have nothing but love and respect for you. I lost a partner and was enveloped in their love, healing energy, and prayers. I went through a hurricane and was deluged with offers of assistance, and more love, more healing energy, and more prayers. My LifeForce Energy Healing family–I’m dedicating this birthday to you with love.

When I was a little girl I was Barbie. Painfully shy and withdrawn (I was terrified of Santa Claus), I loved art and books. When adolescence arrived, I became Barb, and while I was still shy, I had as my best friend another Barbara who was outgoing and popular. She was my shield. Many years into married life I decided that I never liked being called Barb (it was abrupt and sounded like a fence) so I declared myself Barbara again and glared at anyone who slipped and called me Barb. My poor family put up with this for years. I even have a sister-in-law who continued calling me Barbie.

It sounds like a silly thing, but in retrospect, each name seemed to represent a different version of me. There was shy Barbie, the lesser-shy and more outspoken Barb and then back to Barbara, the name given to me at birth. It was around the time that I asked to be called Barbara again that I was also returning to my art and so I have always associated the last name change with reclaiming that lost part of myself. A friend who was with me on my recent trip to California called me Babs. That is definitely not happening!

Slightly over a year ago I had a Soul Contract reading with my friend and fellow colleague, Katie Carlone. Katie is an Intuitive Coach and Life Strategist. She also calls herself The Courage Whisperer and it’s a fitting description of the way Katie helps guide people along their path. I remember her telling me that the year between my 58th and 59th birthday should be one of rest. That it was not a year for doing, doing, doing, but rather for meditation and exploration. That I should not worry about making huge commitments out in the world that year, because I would be busy cleaning house in body, mind, and soul. My second Saturn return was looming ahead on my 59th birthday and I needed to be prepared for this so-called rebirth.

I knew very little about Astrology when Katie relayed this information to me, but I could feel it in my bones that something big was coming. I had never heard of a Saturn Return–let alone a first and second one–but I wanted to be prepared for what was coming, and I took comfort in the fact that I could give myself a breather. Now the time has come and I am ready to do the work I came here to do (figuring out what that is is the hard part!).

I asked Katie if she would explain Saturn Returns for us and she kindly obliged.

The First and Second Saturn Returns – A Bridge to Building Your Legacy

The first Saturn Return (between 27-30)

A time when you can no longer believe what was handed to you or be who you were expected to be by others (including rules & beliefs set forth by family of origin, society/culture, religion or government, etc).  The more you cling to old beliefs and patterns, the more painful the transition gets. With awareness, you have a choice. You are called now to discern what you believe for yourself – what is true for YOU, and to answer to your own Inner Authority, your Higher Self.  So Let Go and Let God!!  Saturn energy is going after Authenticity in your Authority. This is the call to grow into adulthood, as it affects every area of your life (work, relationships, play, home, health, creativity, etc.) You are asked to recognize that you’re probably not going to die anytime soon and that everything you do has consequences. These actions (and the beliefs behind them) affect your future and the future of others, so pay attention to what is true for you – this is the time to begin waking up to who you really are.

At the second Saturn return (usually between 58-60)

You are asked, “Do you want to be a wise elder – or just older?”

You begin to realize that you only have a certain amount of time left to do what you came to do. You realize that you aren’t going to be around forever, that what you do now has consequences. Indeed, you ask, what is my legacy? What did I come here to do, and how am I doing with that? What have I left undone, where am I out of integrity with myself and others? Part of the task of the second Saturn return is to use your innate and unique Saturn gifts wisely, the ones that come with your Saturn sign. So use your gifts wisely and well and don’t let society or anyone in your life subjugate them!

All this may sound simple, but it’s not easy.  Most of us can think of a million things we’d rather do than face our mortality, our past, and our future.  And yet, we ignore this important task at our peril, for true inner peace (not to mention the power that comes from sharing our gifts) can only come when we know we are doing the best we can to address these questions. The second Saturn return, with its challenges and invitations, is meant to be part of our grand Life Adventure, to be embraced with gusto. The Gods will always reward us when we treat this time in our life with the respect it is due – and jump into this living dialog with both feet.

There is help through this maze and we are never alone on the journey.  It is my honor to walk with you on this path to authenticity and your own life legacy. – Katie Carlone

I’m not quite sure what’s ahead on my horizon. I’m not even sure what to call myself these days. Someone referred to me as a teacher the other day and I had to smile. Deborah always says that she’s a “teacher of teachers”. All I know is that I’m open, ready and excited for this next phase of my life. I love the quote by George Eliot on Katie’s website – “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” Who knew that 59 could be so exciting?

Much love,
Barbara

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40 Comments

  1. Gael

    Happy Birthday Barbara and I look forward to hearing about your new adventures very much. You have so many gifts to share with the world, but you alone are a gift to us all and I am blessed to be a fellow student with you at this time of the big shift.

    • Thank you, Gael! Without a doubt, one of my greatest gifts this year has been getting to know the wonderful people in our group and you are high on that list! <3

  2. jacqueline

    thanks for you thoughts, barbara.
    i am a jacqueline, and please, i ask people, don’t call me jackie. i went through a similar thing with my name. i am jacqueline now. it is the name i was given. i was jackie as a child, but i am a 62 year old woman now, on the wise woman path.
    happy birthday, barbara.
    and……………………….. many more! 🙂

  3. jacqueline

    thanks for you thoughts, barbara.
    i am a jacqueline, and please, i ask people, don’t call me jackie. i went through a similar thing with my name. i am jacqueline now. it is the name i was given. i was jackie as a child, but i am a 62 year old woman now, on the wise woman path.
    happy birthday, barbara.
    and……………………….. many more! 🙂

  4. Happy Birthday! you’re an inspiration. Best wishes, Savanna

  5. Happy Birthday! you’re an inspiration. Best wishes, Savanna

  6. dreamersight

    Happy happy birthday, my shining NOT hiding friend! This is an excellent post. I look forward to what you grow into in the future, how you spread your wings further, and maybe we’ll still be connected at our THIRD Saturn return! I am honored to be on this learning healing journey with you. Have a glorious day!
    Love,
    Nancy

    • Thank you, Nancy! From one schizoid to another–coming out of the closet. I think we can both make it to our THIRD Saturn return, and beyond, if we keep our feet on the ground! Love you so much, my friend. xoxo

  7. dreamersight

    Happy happy birthday, my shining NOT hiding friend! This is an excellent post. I look forward to what you grow into in the future, how you spread your wings further, and maybe we’ll still be connected at our THIRD Saturn return! I am honored to be on this learning healing journey with you. Have a glorious day!
    Love,
    Nancy

    • Thank you, Nancy! From one schizoid to another–coming out of the closet. I think we can both make it to our THIRD Saturn return, and beyond, if we keep our feet on the ground! Love you so much, my friend. xoxo

  8. Happy 59th, Barbara! I turned 59 in July and am weathering the second Saturn return as well. What you’ve written here has really touched me. I so appreciate you and your willingness to share in this way!

  9. Happy 59th, Barbara! I turned 59 in July and am weathering the second Saturn return as well. What you’ve written here has really touched me. I so appreciate you and your willingness to share in this way!

  10. What a beautiful tribute to yourself and so well deserved. Ralph is joyously dancing as he surrounds you with beautiful birthday kisses. A very, very happy birthday to you Barbara. I was told when I turned 59 (two years) I would walk in Divine Love. I can’t wait to get there. 🙂 It has been such a pleasure to watch you expand your wings these past two years. Can’t wait to see what is coming next! Enjoy your special day. Kathi

  11. What a beautiful tribute to yourself and so well deserved. Ralph is joyously dancing as he surrounds you with beautiful birthday kisses. A very, very happy birthday to you Barbara. I was told when I turned 59 (two years) I would walk in Divine Love. I can’t wait to get there. 🙂 It has been such a pleasure to watch you expand your wings these past two years. Can’t wait to see what is coming next! Enjoy your special day. Kathi

  12. What a glorious tribute to yourself and so well deserved. It has been a joy to watch you blossom these past two years. A very, very, happy birthday to you Barbara. Ralph is jumping up and down with joy watching you shine your light so bright. I was told when I was 59 I would walk in Divine Love (two years). I can’t wait to get there. Have a very blessed day and I can’t wait to see what you do next! Love you. Kathi

  13. What a glorious tribute to yourself and so well deserved. It has been a joy to watch you blossom these past two years. A very, very, happy birthday to you Barbara. Ralph is jumping up and down with joy watching you shine your light so bright. I was told when I was 59 I would walk in Divine Love (two years). I can’t wait to get there. Have a very blessed day and I can’t wait to see what you do next! Love you. Kathi

  14. Go darling with love…embrace all that is you and all that you are here to be and do…with much laughter, light and love…

  15. Go darling with love…embrace all that is you and all that you are here to be and do…with much laughter, light and love…

  16. Ally

    Happy Birthday Barbara,
    This is a wonderful post 🙂 I’m so happy for you and all that is coming your way!!!
    Love,
    ally

  17. Ally

    Happy Birthday Barbara,
    This is a wonderful post 🙂 I’m so happy for you and all that is coming your way!!!
    Love,
    ally

  18. Your beautiful words really touched me, dear fellow sag! Thank you so much – got me out of that self doubt back into “what I am here to do”. THANK YOU.
    I feel honored to share a bit of this journey with you, love your posts – and see you soon, in the New Age 🙂
    the light in me sees the light in you – n a m a s t e
    Wiebke

  19. Your beautiful words really touched me, dear fellow sag! Thank you so much – got me out of that self doubt back into “what I am here to do”. THANK YOU.
    I feel honored to share a bit of this journey with you, love your posts – and see you soon, in the New Age 🙂
    the light in me sees the light in you – n a m a s t e
    Wiebke

  20. Barbara, this is a wonderful post! I can relate to the part about your name… I am so fussy about my name, insist on “Mary Elyn” because that is my birth name, hate it when others “don’t get it” and call me “Mary” even when the two names are there! And I have gone through the second Saturn return, and it is certainly freeing! I am so grateful to have been part of this group with you over the past couple of years. Keep up the great work!

    • Thanks, Mary Elyn! I had to laugh…even after I wrote the post, people responded by saying “Happy Birthday, Barb!” Either they didn’t read the post, old habits die hard, or I have a bunch of smart … friends/family! 🙂

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