February–The Love Month

Posted on February 1, 2012 by

February has always seemed like an odd month to me, nestled in between hibernation-friendly January and blustery March. I’m speaking, of course, as someone who lives in the Northeast. It’s still officially winter here, even though we’ve had only one snowfall and it’s going to be 60 degrees tomorrow! This month always seems like a last-chance month to burrow in and let creative ideas germinate. And then February 14th sneaks up on us…

Valentine’s Day. Unless you celebrate a birthday during this month, most people associate February with this beloved or dreaded holiday. Even as a child growing up in the ’50s and ’60s, early Valentine’s Day memories were mixed–the big decorated box in our grade school classroom held exciting little envelopes from friends, but we learned early on who was popular and who wasn’t by the number of cards we received. And then as we got older, it became all about romance and that special someone in our life–or someone we wished was in our life. The commercialism surrounding the holiday grew to epic proportions as did sales of chocolate, red roses and sexy lingerie.

I’m not putting down Valentine’s Day. It’s human nature to want to be recognized by others, especially in matters of the heart. I still treasure a handmade doily valentine that someone special once sent to me. There’s no denying that humans are social beings and in many ways a lot like wolves–we live in packs of friends and family. But let’s not forget how important it is to nurture the individual, the lone wolf in us, and recognize that being alone doesn’t have to equate to being lonely.

I know that many people are uncomfortable being alone. But when we spend time alone with ourselves, we get to know the person we truly are, not just the one perceived by others.

Sometimes just paying attention to what it is you love to do–what makes your heart sing and puts a smile on your face–will give you clues to what your life’s purpose is. For surely we are meant to experience joy during our time on earth. Make a list of everything you love. I’m not talking about other people. We all love our children, our significant others, our friends and family. I’m talking about what feeds your soul. Even the silly little things–pencils, rowboats and clouds might seem boring to you, but they excite me!

Next, make a list of what you love about you. All the goodness that you are. My energy medicine teacher always says “Be kind to yourself.” I love it when she says that and so I’m passing it along to you. Be kind to yourself. When you begin to love yourself, your heart will expand and the love will radiate out to others. Make it your valentine to yourself this year.

With love,
Barbara

Posted in General Wellness, Self-Care | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Be Your Own Drugstore: Recipes for Homemade Skincare

Posted on January 20, 2012 by

I’m always excited when I can share safe, clean and effective personal care tips. You would be surprised at how un-natural many products marked “natural” really are. Even soaps, lotions and makeup marked organic are not always pure. Unless the label says 100% organic, it’s good to do a web search and check the ingredients in your products.

Or, rather than going through all that, you can easily make your own truly natural skin care products. Your trips to the drugstore will be fewer, your body will thank you and you will be helping to cut down on the waste and pollution involved with all those plastic bottles and suspect ingredients.

Here are some of my daily favorites:

Coconut oil (unrefined virgin only)–Coconut oil is super nourishing for the skin. Apply it instead of moisturizer when skin is still damp after a shower or bath. Use it sparingly and give it a few minutes to absorb. If you feel greasy you are using too much.
I live in NYC and only use coconut oil during the summer months because it has cooling properties. Substitute with sweet almond oil or sesame oil when the weather is cold.
Use it year-round in a warm climate or if you tend to have a lot of heat in your body all the time.
Coconut oil also works great for shaving legs. I can’t vouch for men, but would love to know if it works for them too!

Easy deodorant–I LOVE this one. All you need is cornstarch and tea tree or lavender essential oil (I alternate). You can use straight cornstarch, a mixture of 1/2 baking soda and 1/2 cornstarch or a cornstarch-based baby powder. (A nice brand is Burt’s Bees which is fairly pure except for the fragrance which they don’t identify.)

Shake some powder into your hand and add one drop of tea tree or lavender oil and rub under your arms. Both oils are anti-bacterial, so they will act as a deodorant.
Traditional aluminum-based deodorants are thought to be dangerous because they may be absorbed right into your skin and lymph glands (especially after shaving) and could cause health problems. Try this natural recipe to stay safe and dry.

No shampoo shampoo–Shampoo strips hair of natural oils, often leading the scalp to compensate by overproducing oil or becoming super dry. You can stop this crazy cycle by “shampooing” with baking soda. Honest. Once I started this method, I got more compliments on my hair than ever before. I use the baking soda wash and apple cider vinegar rinse method.

Mix 1 tablespoon baking soda with one cup warm water in a jar and shake to mix. Pour this over wet hair in the shower and massage in thoroughly, then rinse. If you have very long or oily hair, you may need to double or triple the amount.

Some people like to follow this with a vinegar rinse. Mix 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar with 1 cup warm water and work through hair, then rinse out. The vinegar isn’t necessary all the time, but can help if you have any product build-up.

You only need to do this process once or twice a week max. In between I just rinse my hair in the shower. FYI: It usually takes a good week or two for your hair and scalp to adjust to this method. Don’t fret if things get a little weird at first, your body just needs to balance out. It’s a good time for ponytail holders and headbands.

Eye makeup remover–Ghee (clarified butter). Usually found in the Indian food section of the supermarket or health food store, ghee requires no refrigeration. Just gently rub on eyelids and lashes and remove with a cotton pad. Ghee is highly nourishing around the eyes and if you suffer from dry eyes at night, just dab a little extra around the rims of the eyes before bedtime.

Face Wash–This is a recipe I learned from Ayurvedic practitioner, Pratima Raichur, author of Absolute Beauty: Mix equal parts powdered goat or cow’s milk and ground almond meal. If you need a little exfoliant, throw in a pinch of sea salt or sugar. To ease inflammation, mix in just a little bit of powdered turmeric. Mix in some crushed dried lavender if desired for a sweet scent.

To use, dampen your face with water and rub a spoonful of the powder over your skin, then rinse.
I make enough to fill a small jar, which usually lasts for a week or two. Be aware of the expiration date on the milk.

And last, but not least, after a long stressful day:

Baking soda and sea salt bath–Energy healers recommend this combination for a “clearing bath.” To put it simply, soaking in this mixture makes you feel calm and balanced. Pour two cups each of sea salt (any kind) and baking soda into a warm, not hot, bath and soak for 20 minutes.

So these are some of my favorite tricks for healthy and natural skin care. Do you have any others that you would like to share?

Much love,

Barbara

P.S. If you just really want to buy clean products instead of make your own, here are some of my favorites. Almost good enough to eat and they smell divine!

Posted in Ayurveda, Coconut Oil, General Wellness, Skin Care | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Listening to Our Bodies – The Ayurvedic Way

Posted on January 16, 2012 by

I slept for 12 hours the other night! I’m not sure whether to brag or feel guilty about it. How about neither? Instead I think I’ll just pat myself on the back for listening to my body and giving it what it needed.

I’m an avid follower of Ayurveda, the 5000-year-old medical system from India which translates to “the science of life”. The more I study it, the more I can’t help but apply its mind, body and spirit principles to my everyday life, as well as seeing it in everyone around me. So when I noticed how deeply I’ve been sleeping the past couple of weeks, I immediately thought “Are we entering Kapha season?” For those of you who haven’t read this blog or heard me ramble on about the wonders of Ayurveda, let me share with you a succinct explanation from the Chopra Center: “From the five elements, the three doshas are derived—Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Known as mind-body types, the doshas express particular patterns of energy—unique blends of physical, emotional, and mental characteristics.”

Each one of us has Vata, Pitta and Kapha energies within us, because we are all made up of the five elements. However, most of us, from birth, are more dominant in one or two of the doshas.

The five elements referred to are the same elements that everything in nature is comprised of: air, ether (space), fire, water and earth. Examples of how they operate in the physical body would be:

  •  Air creates the movement in the body for circulation, elimination, etc.
  •  Ether is the space in the body that exists so that there can be movement
  •  Fire is responsible for metabolism, digestion, transformation of food into energy
  •  Water element is all the bodily fluids – blood, lymph, etc.
  •  Earth is structure (think bones)

The major elements of each dosha are as follows:

Vata – air and ether
Pitta – fire and water
Kapha – water and earth

To further complicate things (or I like to say, make it more interesting), the doshas also have particular seasons, times of day and even periods in our lifetime when they dominate. Hence my question “Are we entering Kapha season?” Here in NYC where I live, Kapha season usually doesn’t begin until mid-February when the weather is wet and cold and the ground is damp.

The person with a lot of Kapha energy is generally strong in structure and they’re well lubricated, inside and out. They rarely suffer from dryness – remember, water is one of their elements. When in balance, Kaphas are calm, centered, kind, loving, forgiving and courageous individuals. Slow moving and with memories like an elephant, they tend to sleep a lot and take their time making decisions, or changes in their life. Out of balance, however, a Kapha can become lethargic, depressed and withdrawn. Physically they may suffer from obesity, depression, asthma or diabetes.

In Ayurveda, the principle of “like increases like” is applied. Meaning, for example, if it’s Kapha season and you have a lot of Kapha dosha, you need to be wary of the foods you eat (heavy foods will weigh you down) and not get too out of balance by over-sleeping, staying inside and not getting enough exercise.

So, is my dosha Kapha? No. In fact, I have very little Kapha in my prakruti (my physical constitution, or nature). I am Vata-Pitta, meaning that Vata (air and ether) is my predominant dosha, while Pitta (fire and water) comes in second. Vatas are full of energy and movement (air and ether) and love change. Because of our swift movement, we can easily be thrown off-balance and end up exhausted, anxious and often suffer from insomnia.

This leads me back to my question about my recent sleep pattern and why I wrote this post in the first place! I think we still have a few weeks of Vata season, judging by the cold, dry windy weather we’ve been having. But the hours of 6am to 10am (also 6pm – 10pm) is the Kapha time of day, and if you sleep past 6am, which I have been lately, you are more inclined to fall into a deep Kapha-like sleep. For someone with too much Kapha energy, this can lead to lethargy, but for a Vata who can suffer from short, interrupted sleep, this is nirvana! So I am savoring my deep, restorative sleep while it lasts. I know that when the seasons start to shift and the nights are shorter, my sleep will follow suit. I am listening to my body, the Ayurvedic way.

If Ayurveda intrigues you and you would like to know your dosha(s), here’s a simple quiz that you can take. Just remember that when you answer the questions, think in terms of your entire life, not just how you are in the present moment. Using myself as an example, I suffered from anxiety as a child and throughout a good part of my life. Meditation has eliminated this anxiety, but I am still considered Vata.

A classic book which will help you delve deeper into Ayurveda is Perfect Health – The Complete Mind Body Guide by Deepak Chopra. I guarantee, it will change your life!

Much love,

Barbara

P.S. I was recently asked to be a writer for consciouslifenews.com. This post was published on their site today! Please visit it and leave a comment if you would like. Thanks!

Posted in Ayurveda, Change of Seasons, Energy Medicine, General Wellness, Kapha | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Looking Back in Wonder at 2011

Posted on January 1, 2012 by

Rather than making predictions or resolutions for the coming year, I dedicated my latest newsletter to some of the unexpected changes that happened to me in 2011. I want to share it with you here. This is not a typical list of goals that I accomplished, but rather life lessons that presented themselves to me in a myriad of ways and resulted in a year that frankly, took my breath away.

Here are my top 10 – in no particular order of importance.

1. You’re never too old to learn something new, begin a new career and make new friends. At 58 years old, I find myself more inspired to learn than ever. I wake up eager to study and practice what I’ve been taught, and I have to force myself to put it to rest at night. Along with the learning came the added bonus of amazing new friends who, coupled with the dear old ones, continue to support me and enrich my life immeasurably.

2. I traded in fear for wonder. I’m still not sure what caused this shift (probably meditation), but I found myself free of the fear that always seemed to be lurking in the shadows.

3. I began to honor my own pace of doing things, learning to accept and respect the rhythm of my life. For as long as I can remember, I have been spinning my wheels – always moving but seemingly going nowhere, while instinctively knowing that I don’t like rushing. So when turtles started repeatedly showing up in my life this year – in my dreams and in my waking state (I’m not making this up!), I decided that I needed to slow down. According to Ted Andrews in his Animal Speak Pocket Guide, when a turtle shows up, its message is to ”take your time in your pursuits. Trust in Mother Earth. You will have what you need”. Amazingly, the slower and calmer I became, the more things began to fall into place.

4. I’m pretty sure I found the purpose of my life this year. So for those of you reading this who are in your 20’s or 30’s or 40’s or even 50’s and beyond, and have no clue why you’re here, relax, stay open and do what you love. Someday when you least expect it, the answer will come and it will knock your socks off. It’s never too late.

5. I embraced my Sagittarius destiny and began traveling like never before. Five countries and six states in one year – are you kidding me??? Look out world, here I come!

6. I fell in love with nature again. Clouds, oceans and lakes, sunsets and full moons, thunderstorms, sparrows and turtles and trees, oh my! I can’t get enough of Mother Nature. I just watched the PBS special Christmas in Yellowstone and put visiting there on my bucket list.

7. I learned to embrace silence and solitude. Unplugged and alone, in meditation, prayer and reflection, I have been blessed to experience peace. And in doing so, number eight on my list occurred.

8. I met my soul. Yes I did. And she’s amazing.

9.  You can not only survive tragedy, but you can become stronger because of it. The grief I experienced this year was undoubtably the toughest but most important  lesson of all. Even the most tragic things in life can have a silver lining – if you are open enough to look for it. Yes, my heart still aches for Ralph and when I saw the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and the skaters this year without him by my side, the tears began to flow. They’re flowing right now as I write this, but somehow I am able to smile through the tears. It’s hard for me to explain how this mingling of sorrow and joy can occur. Our souls were deeply connected and they continue to be. Ralph’s death led me to a belief in an afterlife and completely freed me of a fear of dying. What a parting gift he gave to me.

10. And last, but not least, I learned to receive as well as to give. Many things happened to me this year that kept nudging me in this direction. Like many of us, I have always found it easier to give than receive. But when Ralph passed away, there was no longer an option. At my most vulnerable, I let go of past patterns and opened myself up to receiving love and care from loved ones and near strangers alike. It was a profoundly life-changing experience for me. So many of you reading this newsletter were on the giving end and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

This is my list and I’m wondering if any of you might be so inclined to write one of your own. On the surface you may feel, like so many others, that 2011 was just a terrible year. But I challenge you to look beyond the obvious financial woes or personal tragedies you may have experienced to find the silver lining(s). And if you do, I would love for you to share them with me.

Wishing you many blessings in 2012.

Love,
Barbara

Posted in General Wellness | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Believing in Life After Death

Posted on December 15, 2011 by

I remember when I was little, I would look up at the clouds wondering if that was where heaven is. I don’t even know where this came from because in spite of 12 years spent in Catholic schools, I never learned anything about the possibility of an afterlife. Death is such a taboo subject and the word alone seems to elicit fear in most of us.

It will soon be eleven years since I sat alone with my mother and saw her take her last breath and slip away. Back then, I had little experience or knowledge about death, but I remember having a profound feeling (while simultaneously feeling crushing grief) that I was in a place of honor to be present at her passing. Something changed in me that day.

Fast forward to January, 2010 when I began my study of energy medicine. My belief system shifted dramatically as my awareness developed, I began to meditate, and I started hearing stories of near death experiences. At the same time, I became obsessed with clouds, and even my formerly terrifying plane rides became blissful as I floated above the earth feeling like an honored guest of Mother Nature.

When my partner, Ralph, passed on (and I use this term purposely), what I experienced eliminated any doubt I may have still had about life after death. I had gone home to rest the night before, having been assured that he was getting better. At exactly 6:00 am the next morning, I bolted awake and sat up in my bed in a state of confusion. My intuition told me that something wasn’t right so I immediately got up and called the hospital. They assured me that nothing had changed – they had Ralph heavily sedated while they were clearing his lungs. I began getting ready to head to the hospital but I soon got the phone call that he had gone into cardiac arrest. By the time I arrived, they had unhooked everything and declared Ralph dead. All I can say is that when I walked in that room, I saw on his face a look of pure peace. I put my head on his still warm chest and sobbed, saying everything I needed to say to him because I knew with certainty that his soul was still with me. I tried to will him back to life, but it was his time to move on and it wasn’t my place to selfishly hold on.

I believe that Ralph woke me that morning, knowing his impending passing. The time was no coincidence – in all our years together, he would never wake me before 6:00 am even if something was wrong. He would always tell me that he knew how much I needed my sleep. I still feel Ralph’s presence – both in my dream and waking states. I truly believe that there is but a thin veil separating us and it gives me great comfort.

What motivated me to write this post was this video about Anita Moorjani that I recently came upon. I have never heard anyone speak with such eloquence about their near-death experience as Anita does. If you have a gripping fear of your own death or of your loved ones, please take the time to watch this in its entirety. I would love to hear your thoughts on this important subject.

Posted in Energy Medicine | Tagged , , | 9 Comments