A Season For Giving (to Yourself)

Posted on December 1, 2011 by

Here’s a re-post of an article I wrote two years ago. I hope that these self-care tips help you breeze through the often chaotic month of December. I will be taking my own advice this year as the anxiety starts to creep in!

The holiday season is all about giving, but we often forget to give to ourselves. Self-care is critical for our own health and well-being and also a critical component of our ability to care for others. So in the spirit of giving, here are some well deserved gifts from you to you. Try a new one every day, until they become a habit.

1. Forgive yourself.  Guilt, shame, remorse – these are some of the most toxic emotions to our health. Negative memories may never disappear, but we often try to bury them. Chronically ignoring what scares or pains us will eventually make us sick and tired. Journaling is a great way to process emotions and work towards self-forgiveness.  Just writing down the painful thoughts and memories as they come up (even in the middle of the night) is sometimes enough to shed some of the pain. Shredding what you’ve written can be liberating.

2.  Feed your body whole foods.  This time of year makes people cranky and many are anxious about gaining weight from all of the holiday extras. Maintaining your ideal weight is actually fairly simplistic.  The human body was designed to eat whole foods. That means food that has not been processed. Counter-intuitive as it sounds, many over eaters are chronically malnourished. Even if you eat a lot, if the food is not nutritionally sound, you will still be hungry because your body cannot get the energy it needs from the poor quality, over-processed “food” that is so common in our culture. No matter what your weight, it is important to eat plenty of real, whole foods rich in nutrients to remain healthy and satisfied.

3. Love yourself.  Receiving affection from others feels good, but it is vitally important that we can also get the love we need from within. Learning to love yourself is one of the most important gifts you can ever give yourself. Spend some time with yourself, get to know yourself and give yourself a hug. And when you do this, you will find that a person who can find love within is often more able to give and receive support from those around them.

4. Be quiet. As a resident of New York City, this is one of my personal favorites. A side effect of modern living, especially in cities, is that we are often bombarded by noise. Find a quiet place outside or stay in your home, turning off all electronics, phones etc. You may even try earplugs or noise canceling headphones. Meditate or just rest, taking in the sound of silence.

5.  Laugh!  It really is the best medicine. No matter how bad things are,  laughter is one of the most important ingredients for emotional health. Studies have shown that laughter actually boosts the immune system and triggers the release of endorphins which are the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.  They can even help to relieve pain. Treat yourself to a funny movie or sitcom and feel your stress melt away.

6. Give freely to others.  Yes, this really is a gift to yourself.  Giving freely of our time, love and compassion brings out our humanity and makes us feel good. Pay attention to your body the next time you hold the door open for someone or have a conversation with the lonely elderly person in the neighborhood.  Can you feel your heart open just a bit wider?  The pain in your body not quite so noticeable?

7. Get physical. I can’t write this without thinking about Olivia Newton John!  Whether it is the physical activity Ms. John sang about (great for the immune system, by the way!), or any other, movement will always make you feel good.  Exercise does not needs to be a scheduled workout, and it should never feel like punishment.  Adjust your routine to include taking the stairs, doing housework, walking instead of riding, and your body will thank you in so many ways.

8. Sleep.  You would have to be living under a rock these days not to know how important this is to your health. The truth is, unless you are getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night, your body is not able to repair and rejuvenate like it needs to. My friend, Mary, is blessed with unrivaled sleeping skills, and the only person I know who always gets enough sleep and the good health to show for it. Some people have to work a little harder than others to achieve optimal rest – it’s just their constitution.  For better rest try sleeping in a dark room, wearing an eye mask and ear plugs, not eating past 7 pm and getting sufficient exercise during the day. Also, remember to shut down all electronics early in the evening and give yourself plenty of down time before bed.  Which leads me to #9…

9. Disconnect! Cell phones, land phones, computers, televisions, video games, iPods, etc., etc.,  sometimes it feels like we are becoming androids. For all the convenience technology provides, this constant stimulation can have very negative effects on our health. Adrenal Fatigue can result from over-stimulation and the dangers of talking/texting while driving and walking are now well known. Leave the multitasking in the office and practice focusing on one thing at a time.

10. Spend time in nature. Kick your shoes off (if the weather is right), hug a tree (just embrace it), sit by the water, feel the snow on your face, revel in the wonders of the sun and the moon and the ebb and flow of nature and life.  If you can do this for even 5-10 minutes during your busy day, it will recharge your battery better than any prescription drug can.

11. Breathe.  This is no joke, it is easy to forget to breathe well. I think I lived an entire period of my life practically holding my breath. Breathing in we take in life-sustaining oxygen and breathing out we rid the body of toxins. Remember, a proper, deep breath is when the belly goes out on the in breath and retracts on the exhale. Place your hand on your abdomen to see whether you are breathing properly. Even better is a big fat audible sigh (ahhhhh, or whoooosh) on the breath out. It’s a great stress reliever.

12. Spend time doing something you love each day.  For one person, it’s reading a book; for another it’s watching an old movie.  Relax your body and mind and nourish your soul by spending quality time with yourself – even if only for half an hour.  If this is something that always gets pushed to the back burner for you, put a post-it on your bathroom mirror or schedule it into your daily calendar.  Sounds silly, but until it becomes a habit, a gentle reminder never hurts.

13. (It’s a baker’s dozen) Give yourself a break!  Nothing on this list is earth-shattering or anything that you haven’t heard before. If you fail to give yourself one of these gifts (I did not give myself the gift of disconnecting this evening because I was determined to finish this newsletter!) give yourself a break instead and start anew.  That’s the beauty of life – each moment, each day affords us the opportunity to start from scratch.

Much love,                                                                                                                                                      Barbara

 

Posted in Anxiety, Breathing, General Health, Holidays, Sleep, Stress, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

When Your Body Speaks, Listen

Posted on November 18, 2011 by

From the time I was a child, one of my gifts (or curses) was that my body talked to me. Not literally, of course, but in subtle sensations that brought my focus to where it needed to be. I have always been hyper-attuned to it, and while I would often pay attention and give it the care it needed, there were times when I would try to push these messages away. I went through a period in my 30′s and 40′s where these sensations would terrify me and my mind would offer up all kinds of terrible scenarios – the big C of course being front and center. I have learned a lot over the past few years about how the mind and body are inextricably connected. Coupled with my own strong intuition, I have come to realize that my body has been my greatest teacher in this lifetime.

The body knows and we need to respect this. If we are particularly connected, we may not even physically feel anything – we just know. The important thing that we have to realize is that this is not just about putting a bandaid on or taking a pill that seemingly fixes the problem. Almost always, there’s a deeper underlying issue.

Having fibromyalgia was perhaps my biggest message – more like a blaring siren, that I needed to take care of some big imbalances in my life. I had ignored all the other symptoms, now my body was threatening to shut down, go on strike. What did I learn from six years of debilitating pain? Well, there are too many things to list here (stay tuned for the book) – but I will say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It woke me up, it shook me up, and it made me take a hard look at myself and at my life. It changed me. Yup, the pain was worth it. I survived and am stronger for it today.

I really thought my recovery from fibromyalgia was the defining moment and that I was home free. Ha! We are humans living in these bodies and old patterns (some from past lives) die hard. So, two years ago when I had whooping cough and came pretty close to leaving this planet, I remember thinking “Really??? Again??? What is my body teaching me NOW?”

While recovering from this illness, I learned that the lungs are a repository for grief and that unprocessed grief can lead to all kinds of sickness. (You can read more about the heart and lung connection to grief here.) Months later, an acupuncturist told me that my body still held so much grief that it was “in my bones.” This would have terrified most people but I remember calmly asking what I could do to release it. After all, I didn’t even feel sad. Without answering me, she inserted a completely painless needle in the area of my lungs and within seconds I felt as though a tsunami was rising inside of me. Tears began to pour out and I sobbed uncontrollably for a good ten minutes. She was a powerful healer but it was just a start. The rest was up to me.

It took my lungs a full year to recover and you better believe I have a whole new respect for them. When they talk to me now, I listen!

One way I process what my body is ‘saying’ is to journal, journal, journal. That’s the mantra of my energy medicine teacher, Deborah King. There’s no better medicine to draw out buried emotions lurking in the body and threatening illness. Writing our thoughts down, no matter how horrible they seem, literally releases them from our cells. If the thought of someone finding your journal prevents you from writing the truth, use a password-protected journaling program on your computer. Don’t censor. Let it all out. Truth Heals is the title of Deborah’s first book and it’s a great place to start to learn about how the truth can set you free and keep you healthy.

Posted in Cough, Energy Medicine, Fibromyalgia, General Health, Journaling, Lungs | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Living the Life You Planned

Posted on November 8, 2011 by

What if we could know our purpose  on this earth, and what our soul came here to learn and experience? There are times when our life feels in sync with something larger than ourselves and other times when we feel desperately alone and without any inner or outer guidance.  Imagine what a relief it would be to confirm that we’re on the right path – or to know that we’re not, so we could make better choices. Perhaps we’ve decided on a career or entered into a relationship that our gut tells us isn’t right, yet we stubbornly persist. Taking this a step further, what if we actually chose the hardships we’ve encountered in our life before we incarnated (stay with me here!) so that our soul could grow and evolve?

Sound far-fetched? I would have thought so too a few years ago. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older that these questions are more pervasive, but I think it’s more likely due to a deep shift in my beliefs over the past few years and especially after my partner Ralph’s recent death. Raised Catholic, I never gave any thought to the possibility of reincarnation, even though more cultures than not believe in the concept. This is about spirituality, not religion, I’ve learned. Big, big difference.  At any rate, it’s a fascinating subject to explore, if you have an open mind.

One of the many books recommended to me after Ralph’s passing was Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz, which introduced me to the idea of a soul contract based on the belief that we actually plan our life before we’re born. This fascinated me and so I considered it synchronicity when a fellow energy medicine student named Katie Carlone (katie.carlone@gmail.com) mentioned that she does soul contract readings. I jumped at the opportunity to see what it was all about. Believe me, I would not be writing about this if what Katie revealed to me had not blown me away. I would have kept this quietly to myself, but it was so amazing that I felt compelled to share my experience with you.

In an hour-long reading with Katie (which she records for you to keep) she uncovered and validated many energetic patterns in my life. She talked about how I came into this world with an intense and deeply emotional energy (I’m sure family members will agree here) and that I possessed  archetypal patterns of the artist, the nature lover and the healer, among others. I laughed when she said that I could sit for hours in nature gazing at something beautiful. (I’m obsessed with clouds and trees!) Katie said that in general I like a slower pace, steady and methodical, and that I like to linger. I loved that! People who know me may think this is just the opposite of how I appear, but I can see that when I operate at a frenetic pace, I’m out of control and not very happy. She also mentioned that I’m very intuitive and that I need to use my creative abilities to dissipate excess emotion or my body gets sick. Wow. That one was spot on. I’ve been aware of this pattern for years, and yet have unwittingly repeated it more times than I’d like to admit. This is just a tidbit of the information I was given. If you find it intriguing, I would highly recommend a reading with Katie. She’s a lovely, down-to-earth intuitive and life coach whose insight could change your life.

So who’s the little girl in the picture above? That’s me (or Barbie, as I was known back then). Believe it or not, I can still recall how I felt when that picture was taken. Happy, but painfully shy. It fascinates me now to look (really look) at old pictures and re-connect with that little girl, or the teenager, the young adult, etc. who is still a part of me and always will be in this special lifetime.

Much love,
Barbara

Posted in Inspiration, Recommended Reading, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

Celebrating My Libras

Posted on October 10, 2011 by

Yesterday my son, Brian, turned 30. Holy moley, where have the years gone? He was on my mind all day yesterday and I was sad to miss out on his big day. I looked up from my computer while typing and my eyes landed on this picture of Brian with a twinkle in his eyes and birthday cake in hand. This is the same Brian from the rowboat rescue this past summer who is no longer a child or a teenager or even a young adult. All of a sudden, I realize that my child is a man.

It’s quite a journey that you take with your children. From the moment I first held Brian in my arms, I could sense certain things about his spirit that I’ve watched remain intact through all the ups and downs of life.  That impish grin? It’s still there. And that independent spirit – Brian was about the same age as he is in the picture when he started watching cooking shows on tv. I remember thinking “he’s going to be a chef one day” and I would often suggest that he get a job in a restaurant to see how he liked working in the kitchen. He would say that he didn’t want to work for someone else, that he was going to own his own restaurant some day. And sure enough, when he was 28 years old, he did.

Brian was my first libra. And I think it was when my other libra, Ralph, passed away in May that I realized just how our mother/son dynamic had shifted. Brian rushed here with his sister, Amy, to be by my side and to help ease my grief. He has been vigilant about checking up on me and not letting me feel like I’m alone. Yep, he’s a man now, and I’m so proud of him.

I love libras. My other libra would have been 50 today. I always marveled at how Brian and Ralph had birthdays one day apart, how they both loved to cook, how they were both innately shy and sensitive but had that libra quality of drawing people in. When Brian first met Ralph eight years ago, he was a little wary and protective of me dating someone. But the two of them soon bonded and always loved spending time together. Ralph would have been so proud (but not at all surprised) at how Brian stepped in to keep an eye on me.

This morning I took some of Ralph’s ashes and set out along the bike path that we must have traveled hundreds of miles together over the years. It was our favorite thing to do and the weather was flawless. I visited all of our usual spots up and down the Hudson river and sprinkled his ashes where we used to stop and rest – Ralph basking in the sun, and me, sitting under a tree in the shade. As I was approaching my final destination – the end of the bike path down by the Statue of Liberty, I got a flat tire. How many times had Ralph said to me ” Barbara, your tires need air. Barbara, you need new tires.” It was shot. I had to smile as I walked my bike all the way back home. I guess it’s time I learned how to change a bike tire and what to do when the chain comes off!

So, today I’m celebrating my libras. I hope that you are lucky enough to have one in your life. If you don’t know anything about libras, you can learn all about them here!

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Who Has Inspired You Lately?

Posted on October 1, 2011 by

I know – sounds like a high school essay question. But we’re never too old to encounter someone who inspires us and ultimately helps change the course of our lives. It can happen when you least expect it (in fact that’s when it usually does!). It happened to me recently while laying on a massage table with acupuncture needles in my body. Rather than falling asleep, I found myself bombarded with creative ideas. I was reflecting on a conversation I had just moments before with my naturopath, Dr. Gabrielle Francis. I’ve written about Dr. Francis before – how she inspired me to begin traveling. “After all, Barbara, you are a Sagittarius. What are you waiting for???) She’s one of the smartest, most caring women I know, without an ounce of superiority about her. For years I searched for a doctor who held the same holistic views I did, and serendipitously, she appeared in my life. In addition to practicing naturopathic medicine, acupuncture, oriental medicine, chiropractic and massage, Dr. Francis is also a rock star of sorts. That is, she’s a doctor to the rock stars. She provides holistic medical treatment to performers, production and crew while on tour, in her other practice known as Backstage Alternative. Seriously, how does she do it? And did I mention that she’s writing a book?

Just about every visit I’ve had with Dr. Francis leaves me feeling centered, whole and (you guessed it!) inspired. On this last visit I found myself teeming with ideas for what I’m going to do, who I’m going to become, and how I can help others along the way. I was also infused with a sense of fulfillment and gratitude for what I have already become. Let me add that I’ll be turning 59 this year. It’s never too late to discover what we were meant to do in this lifetime, and never underestimate our ability to be inspired or to inspire others – no matter what our age.  I believe that there is a chain reaction of sorts, and the force of inspiration is far-reaching. Dr. Francis has inspired me, helped to awaken my sleeping creativity, and I plan to pay it forward, as they say.

I don’t think there is a greater compliment than to have someone say you’ve inspired them. So, who has inspired you lately? I would love to hear from you!

With love,                                                                                                                                Barbara

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Oil of Oregano

Posted on September 26, 2011 by

Last week on the Dr. Oz show, holistic health pioneers Dr. Andrew Weil and Dr. Deepak Chopra joined forces to share some of their favorite natural health tips. They ran the gamut from a glass of warm water (keeps your pipes clean) to meditation, but I jumped for joy when Dr. Weil mentioned oil of oregano. Hooray for oil of oregano! It’s always in my cupboard and I never travel without it. It’s anti-bacterial, anti-viral, anti-fungal, anti-parasitic and it comes from Mother Nature, to boot. What pharmaceutical can claim that? I am always amazed at how little known this amazing liquid is. Here are a few of oil of oregano’s tried and true benefits:

  • Cold, cough and flu – use at the first sign for best results.
  • Digestive problems
  • Sinus infections
  • Food poisoning – This one amazes me. I have woken in the middle of the night with that nauseous feeling of being sick from something I ate about 8 hrs. ago, put a couple of drops of oil of oregano under my tongue and within 1/2 hour I’m already feeling better.
  • Fungal infections
  • Cold sores (One drop directly on the lip at the first sign. Note – ice cubes made from lemon balm tea directly on the sore works wonders, too.)
  • Kills bacteria in the mouth (put a drop on your toothbrush, or gargle with it)
  • Traveling aid (Especially where you have been cautioned about eating the food and drinking the water.) I traveled to Guatemala recently and put one drop in a glass of water and drank it after each meal. My digestive system thanked me!

A word of caution:

As always, remember that food is medicine and should be respected as such. One man’s food is another man’s poison. With that in mind, please note the following:

  • Be sure that your oil of oregano is already in an olive oil base or that you dilute it according to directions. I have had great success with this brand, which can easily be found at most health food stores. Be sure that it’s wild-crafted and that it says P73 (or higher).
  • Read dosage carefully! Normal dosages are 1-2 drops, not dropperfuls! It is very potent. You can put 1-2 drops under your tongue and wash it down with water or put it directly into a small amount of water.
  • Like any other food or supplement, do not ingest on a daily basis. Use it while you need it and then give it a rest. It will work better for you in the long run.
  • If heartburn is a problem for you, start with one drop and see how you tolerate it.
  • It’s also important to note that, just like with antibiotics, oil of oregano will kill the good bacteria in your gut along with the bad. So, if you are taking it for an extended period of time, supplement with probiotics or foods such as yogurt and raw sauerkraut.

For more information you can read The Cure is in the Cupboard by Dr. Cass Igram.

I am not a medical doctor (please see my disclaimer below). This information is based on my own personal experience and that of clients and friends.

I tried to post the Dr. Oz segment but WordPress wasn’t cooperating today.  You can visit Dr. Oz’s site to pick up some more great tips.

Let me know if you’ve ever tried oil of oregano and what results you’ve had.

Love,                                                                                                                                                       Barbara








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What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Posted on September 9, 2011 by

Even though summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, let’s face it, we feel it coming to a close. This was an unusual summer for me – I traveled a lot more than usual, admittedly running away from my home where my partner, Ralph was no longer with me to do our usual summer-in-the-city activities.

Among my travels, I spent a week with extended family in Northern Michigan and had a revelation that families are just a microcosm of our world. There were 20 of us – 14 under one roof and 6 next door. We have vastly different personalities and ages, political views and lifestyles, but somehow when we meet once a year in this lakeside paradise, we manage to let it go and go with the flow. We spent time alone but came together for meals and games. I left my health coach hat at home and kept my healthy eating comments to myself. Hard to do when an entire cupboard is devoted to junk food snacks! I admit to being seduced by the cupboard myself and the sweet and salty treats lurking inside. The potato chip has been tempting me since my childhood when my uncle Tony would bring us a 1 lb. box of perfect hand-picked potato chips from his job at the Krun-Chee potato chip factory in Detroit. Salty bliss.

There was even a rowboat rescue by my son, Brian, who had to swim out and bring me back to shore. What can I say…the clouds were spectacular! I was blissfully alone taking pictures and didn’t notice that the wind had shifted and the strong current had changed directions. I was drifting away from the cottage and as much as I pride myself on my rowing, I was going nowhere! Still, I loved everything about the experience. I think Mother Nature was responsible for keeping us all happy. In addition to the spectacular clouds, she graced us with a full moon, stars in the sky, warm sunny days and a booming thunderstorm. The older I get, the more childlike I feel myself becoming when it comes to nature. I don’t think there’s a better therapy around than swimming in a lake or ocean, laying in a hammock under the trees or walking barefoot in the wet morning dew. It nourished my tired body, fed my soul and helped heal my aching heart. A summer spent nurturing myself has left me motivated, refreshed and ready to get back to work.

If travel is in your future, you can read about my healthy travel tips here. What are some of yours?

What was special about your summer? Did you have time to slow down and rejuvenate?As always, I love hearing from you!

Much love,
Barbara

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