Valentine’s Day. Unless you celebrate a birthday during this month, most people associate February with this beloved or dreaded holiday. Even as a child growing up in the ’50s and ’60s, early Valentine’s Day memories were mixed–the big decorated box in our grade school classroom held exciting little envelopes from friends, but we learned early on who was popular and who wasn’t by the number of cards we received. And then as we got older, it became all about romance and that special someone in our life–or someone we wished was in our life. The commercialism surrounding the holiday grew to epic proportions as did sales of chocolate, red roses and sexy lingerie.

I’m not putting down Valentine’s Day. It’s human nature to want to be recognized by others, especially in matters of the heart. I still treasure a handmade doily valentine that someone special once sent to me. There’s no denying that humans are social beings and in many ways a lot like wolves–we live in packs of friends and family. But let’s not forget how important it is to nurture the individual, the lone wolf in us, and recognize that being alone doesn’t have to equate to being lonely.

I know that many people are uncomfortable being alone. But when we spend time alone with ourselves, we get to know the person we truly are, not just the one perceived by others.

Sometimes just paying attention to what it is you love to do–what makes your heart sing and puts a smile on your face–will give you clues to what your life’s purpose is. For surely we are meant to experience joy during our time on earth. Make a list of everything you love. I’m not talking about other people. We all love our children, our significant others, our friends and family. I’m talking about what feeds your soul. Even the silly little things–pencils, rowboats and clouds might seem boring to you, but they excite me!

Next, make a list of what you love about you. All the goodness that you are. My energy medicine teacher always says “Be kind to yourself.” I love it when she says that and so I’m passing it along to you. Be kind to yourself. When you begin to love yourself, your heart will expand and the love will radiate out to others. Make it your valentine to yourself this year.

With love,
Barbara

Or, rather than going through all that, you can easily make your own truly natural skin care products. Your trips to the drugstore will be fewer, your body will thank you and you will be helping to cut down on the waste and pollution involved with all those plastic bottles and suspect ingredients.

Here are some of my daily favorites:

Coconut oil (unrefined virgin only)–Coconut oil is super nourishing for the skin. Apply it instead of moisturizer when skin is still damp after a shower or bath. Use it sparingly and give it a few minutes to absorb. If you feel greasy you are using too much.
I live in NYC and only use coconut oil during the summer months because it has cooling properties. Substitute with sweet almond oil or sesame oil when the weather is cold.
Use it year-round in a warm climate or if you tend to have a lot of heat in your body all the time.
Coconut oil also works great for shaving legs. I can’t vouch for men, but would love to know if it works for them too!

Easy deodorant–I LOVE this one. All you need is cornstarch and tea tree or lavender essential oil (I alternate). You can use straight cornstarch, a mixture of 1/2 baking soda and 1/2 cornstarch or a cornstarch-based baby powder. (A nice brand is Burt’s Bees which is fairly pure except for the fragrance which they don’t identify.)

Shake some powder into your hand and add one drop of tea tree or lavender oil and rub under your arms. Both oils are anti-bacterial, so they will act as a deodorant.
Traditional aluminum-based deodorants are thought to be dangerous because they may be absorbed right into your skin and lymph glands (especially after shaving) and could cause health problems. Try this natural recipe to stay safe and dry.

No shampoo shampoo–Shampoo strips hair of natural oils, often leading the scalp to compensate by overproducing oil or becoming super dry. You can stop this crazy cycle by “shampooing” with baking soda. Honest. Once I started this method, I got more compliments on my hair than ever before. I use the baking soda wash and apple cider vinegar rinse method.

Mix 1 tablespoon baking soda with one cup warm water in a jar and shake to mix. Pour this over wet hair in the shower and massage in thoroughly, then rinse. If you have very long or oily hair, you may need to double or triple the amount.

Some people like to follow this with a vinegar rinse. Mix 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar with 1 cup warm water and work through hair, then rinse out. The vinegar isn’t necessary all the time, but can help if you have any product build-up.

You only need to do this process once or twice a week max. In between I just rinse my hair in the shower. FYI: It usually takes a good week or two for your hair and scalp to adjust to this method. Don’t fret if things get a little weird at first, your body just needs to balance out. It’s a good time for ponytail holders and headbands.

Eye makeup remover–Ghee (clarified butter). Usually found in the Indian food section of the supermarket or health food store, ghee requires no refrigeration. Just gently rub on eyelids and lashes and remove with a cotton pad. Ghee is highly nourishing around the eyes and if you suffer from dry eyes at night, just dab a little extra around the rims of the eyes before bedtime.

Face Wash–This is a recipe I learned from Ayurvedic practitioner, Pratima Raichur, author of Absolute Beauty: Mix equal parts powdered goat or cow’s milk and ground almond meal. If you need a little exfoliant, throw in a pinch of sea salt or sugar. To ease inflammation, mix in just a little bit of powdered turmeric. Mix in some crushed dried lavender if desired for a sweet scent.

To use, dampen your face with water and rub a spoonful of the powder over your skin, then rinse.
I make enough to fill a small jar, which usually lasts for a week or two. Be aware of the expiration date on the milk.

And last, but not least, after a long stressful day:

Baking soda and sea salt bath–Energy healers recommend this combination for a “clearing bath.” To put it simply, soaking in this mixture makes you feel calm and balanced. Pour two cups each of sea salt (any kind) and baking soda into a warm, not hot, bath and soak for 20 minutes.

So these are some of my favorite tricks for healthy and natural skin care. Do you have any others that you would like to share?

Much love,

Barbara

P.S. If you just really want to buy clean products instead of make your own, here are some of my favorites. Almost good enough to eat and they smell divine!

I’m an avid follower of Ayurveda, the 5000-year-old medical system from India which translates to “the science of life”. The more I study it, the more I can’t help but apply its mind, body and spirit principles to my everyday life, as well as seeing it in everyone around me. So when I noticed how deeply I’ve been sleeping the past couple of weeks, I immediately thought “Are we entering Kapha season?” For those of you who haven’t read this blog or heard me ramble on about the wonders of Ayurveda, let me share with you a succinct explanation from the Chopra Center: “From the five elements, the three doshas are derived—Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Known as mind-body types, the doshas express particular patterns of energy—unique blends of physical, emotional, and mental characteristics.”

Each one of us has Vata, Pitta and Kapha energies within us, because we are all made up of the five elements. However, most of us, from birth, are more dominant in one or two of the doshas.

The five elements referred to are the same elements that everything in nature is comprised of: air, ether (space), fire, water and earth. Examples of how they operate in the physical body would be:

•  Air creates the movement in the body for circulation, elimination, etc.
•  Ether is the space in the body that exists so that there can be movement
•  Fire is responsible for metabolism, digestion, transformation of food into energy
•  Water element is all the bodily fluids – blood, lymph, etc.
•  Earth is structure (think bones)

The major elements of each dosha are as follows:

Vata – air and ether
Pitta – fire and water
Kapha – water and earth

To further complicate things (or I like to say, make it more interesting), the doshas also have particular seasons, times of day and even periods in our lifetime when they dominate. Hence my question “Are we entering Kapha season?” Here in NYC where I live, Kapha season usually doesn’t begin until mid-February when the weather is wet and cold and the ground is damp.

The person with a lot of Kapha energy is generally strong in structure and they’re well lubricated, inside and out. They rarely suffer from dryness – remember, water is one of their elements. When in balance, Kaphas are calm, centered, kind, loving, forgiving and courageous individuals. Slow moving and with memories like an elephant, they tend to sleep a lot and take their time making decisions, or changes in their life. Out of balance, however, a Kapha can become lethargic, depressed and withdrawn. Physically they may suffer from obesity, depression, asthma or diabetes.

In Ayurveda, the principle of “like increases like” is applied. Meaning, for example, if it’s Kapha season and you have a lot of Kapha dosha, you need to be wary of the foods you eat (heavy foods will weigh you down) and not get too out of balance by over-sleeping, staying inside and not getting enough exercise.

So, is my dosha Kapha? No. In fact, I have very little Kapha in my prakruti (my physical constitution, or nature). I am Vata-Pitta, meaning that Vata (air and ether) is my predominant dosha, while Pitta (fire and water) comes in second. Vatas are full of energy and movement (air and ether) and love change. Because of our swift movement, we can easily be thrown off-balance and end up exhausted, anxious and often suffer from insomnia.

This leads me back to my question about my recent sleep pattern and why I wrote this post in the first place! I think we still have a few weeks of Vata season, judging by the cold, dry windy weather we’ve been having. But the hours of 6am to 10am (also 6pm – 10pm) is the Kapha time of day, and if you sleep past 6am, which I have been lately, you are more inclined to fall into a deep Kapha-like sleep. For someone with too much Kapha energy, this can lead to lethargy, but for a Vata who can suffer from short, interrupted sleep, this is nirvana! So I am savoring my deep, restorative sleep while it lasts. I know that when the seasons start to shift and the nights are shorter, my sleep will follow suit. I am listening to my body, the Ayurvedic way.

If Ayurveda intrigues you and you would like to know your dosha(s), here’s a simple quiz that you can take. Just remember that when you answer the questions, think in terms of your entire life, not just how you are in the present moment. Using myself as an example, I suffered from anxiety as a child and throughout a good part of my life. Meditation has eliminated this anxiety, but I am still considered Vata.

A classic book which will help you delve deeper into Ayurveda is Perfect Health – The Complete Mind Body Guide by Deepak Chopra. I guarantee, it will change your life!

Much love,

Barbara

P.S. I was recently asked to be a writer for consciouslifenews.com. This post was published on their site today! Please visit it and leave a comment if you would like. Thanks!

Here are my top 10 – in no particular order of importance.

1. You’re never too old to learn something new, begin a new career and make new friends. At 58 years old, I find myself more inspired to learn than ever. I wake up eager to study and practice what I’ve been taught, and I have to force myself to put it to rest at night. Along with the learning came the added bonus of amazing new friends who, coupled with the dear old ones, continue to support me and enrich my life immeasurably.

2. I traded in fear for wonder. I’m still not sure what caused this shift (probably meditation), but I found myself free of the fear that always seemed to be lurking in the shadows.

3. I began to honor my own pace of doing things, learning to accept and respect the rhythm of my life. For as long as I can remember, I have been spinning my wheels – always moving but seemingly going nowhere, while instinctively knowing that I don’t like rushing. So when turtles started repeatedly showing up in my life this year – in my dreams and in my waking state (I’m not making this up!), I decided that I needed to slow down. According to Ted Andrews in his Animal Speak Pocket Guide, when a turtle shows up, its message is to ”take your time in your pursuits. Trust in Mother Earth. You will have what you need”. Amazingly, the slower and calmer I became, the more things began to fall into place.

4. I’m pretty sure I found the purpose of my life this year. So for those of you reading this who are in your 20’s or 30’s or 40’s or even 50’s and beyond, and have no clue why you’re here, relax, stay open and do what you love. Someday when you least expect it, the answer will come and it will knock your socks off. It’s never too late.

5. I embraced my Sagittarius destiny and began traveling like never before. Five countries and six states in one year – are you kidding me??? Look out world, here I come!

6. I fell in love with nature again. Clouds, oceans and lakes, sunsets and full moons, thunderstorms, sparrows and turtles and trees, oh my! I can’t get enough of Mother Nature. I just watched the PBS special Christmas in Yellowstone and put visiting there on my bucket list.

7. I learned to embrace silence and solitude. Unplugged and alone, in meditation, prayer and reflection, I have been blessed to experience peace. And in doing so, number eight on my list occurred.

8. I met my soul. Yes I did. And she’s amazing.

9.  You can not only survive tragedy, but you can become stronger because of it. The grief I experienced this year was undoubtably the toughest but most important  lesson of all. Even the most tragic things in life can have a silver lining – if you are open enough to look for it. Yes, my heart still aches for Ralph and when I saw the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and the skaters this year without him by my side, the tears began to flow. They’re flowing right now as I write this, but somehow I am able to smile through the tears. It’s hard for me to explain how this mingling of sorrow and joy can occur. Our souls were deeply connected and they continue to be. Ralph’s death led me to a belief in an afterlife and completely freed me of a fear of dying. What a parting gift he gave to me.

10. And last, but not least, I learned to receive as well as to give. Many things happened to me this year that kept nudging me in this direction. Like many of us, I have always found it easier to give than receive. But when Ralph passed away, there was no longer an option. At my most vulnerable, I let go of past patterns and opened myself up to receiving love and care from loved ones and near strangers alike. It was a profoundly life-changing experience for me. So many of you reading this newsletter were on the giving end and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

This is my list and I’m wondering if any of you might be so inclined to write one of your own. On the surface you may feel, like so many others, that 2011 was just a terrible year. But I challenge you to look beyond the obvious financial woes or personal tragedies you may have experienced to find the silver lining(s). And if you do, I would love for you to share them with me.

Wishing you many blessings in 2012.

Love,
Barbara

It will soon be eleven years since I sat alone with my mother and saw her take her last breath and slip away. Back then, I had little experience or knowledge about death, but I remember having a profound feeling (while simultaneously feeling crushing grief) that I was in a place of honor to be present at her passing. Something changed in me that day.

Fast forward to January, 2010 when I began my study of energy medicine. My belief system shifted dramatically as my awareness developed, I began to meditate, and I started hearing stories of near death experiences. At the same time, I became obsessed with clouds, and even my formerly terrifying plane rides became blissful as I floated above the earth feeling like an honored guest of Mother Nature.

When my partner, Ralph, passed on (and I use this term purposely), what I experienced eliminated any doubt I may have still had about life after death. I had gone home to rest the night before, having been assured that he was getting better. At exactly 6:00 am the next morning, I bolted awake and sat up in my bed in a state of confusion. My intuition told me that something wasn’t right so I immediately got up and called the hospital. They assured me that nothing had changed – they had Ralph heavily sedated while they were clearing his lungs. I began getting ready to head to the hospital but I soon got the phone call that he had gone into cardiac arrest. By the time I arrived, they had unhooked everything and declared Ralph dead. All I can say is that when I walked in that room, I saw on his face a look of pure peace. I put my head on his still warm chest and sobbed, saying everything I needed to say to him because I knew with certainty that his soul was still with me. I tried to will him back to life, but it was his time to move on and it wasn’t my place to selfishly hold on.

I believe that Ralph woke me that morning, knowing his impending passing. The time was no coincidence – in all our years together, he would never wake me before 6:00 am even if something was wrong. He would always tell me that he knew how much I needed my sleep. I still feel Ralph’s presence – both in my dream and waking states. I truly believe that there is but a thin veil separating us and it gives me great comfort.

What motivated me to write this post was this video about Anita Moorjani that I recently came upon. I have never heard anyone speak with such eloquence about their near-death experience as Anita does. If you have a gripping fear of your own death or of your loved ones, please take the time to watch this in its entirety. I would love to hear your thoughts on this important subject.

Here’s a re-post of an article I wrote two years ago. I hope that these self-care tips help you breeze through the often chaotic month of December. I will be taking my own advice this year as the anxiety starts to creep in!

The holiday season is all about giving, but we often forget to give to ourselves. Self-care is critical for our own health and well-being and also a critical component of our ability to care for others. So in the spirit of giving, here are some well deserved gifts from you to you. Try a new one every day, until they become a habit.

1. Forgive yourself.  Guilt, shame, remorse – these are some of the most toxic emotions to our health. Negative memories may never disappear, but we often try to bury them. Chronically ignoring what scares or pains us will eventually make us sick and tired. Journaling is a great way to process emotions and work towards self-forgiveness.  Just writing down the painful thoughts and memories as they come up (even in the middle of the night) is sometimes enough to shed some of the pain. Shredding what you’ve written can be liberating.

2.  Feed your body whole foods.  This time of year makes people cranky and many are anxious about gaining weight from all of the holiday extras. Maintaining your ideal weight is actually fairly simplistic.  The human body was designed to eat whole foods. That means food that has not been processed. Counter-intuitive as it sounds, many over eaters are chronically malnourished. Even if you eat a lot, if the food is not nutritionally sound, you will still be hungry because your body cannot get the energy it needs from the poor quality, over-processed “food” that is so common in our culture. No matter what your weight, it is important to eat plenty of real, whole foods rich in nutrients to remain healthy and satisfied.

3. Love yourself.  Receiving affection from others feels good, but it is vitally important that we can also get the love we need from within. Learning to love yourself is one of the most important gifts you can ever give yourself. Spend some time with yourself, get to know yourself and give yourself a hug. And when you do this, you will find that a person who can find love within is often more able to give and receive support from those around them.

4. Be quiet. As a resident of New York City, this is one of my personal favorites. A side effect of modern living, especially in cities, is that we are often bombarded by noise. Find a quiet place outside or stay in your home, turning off all electronics, phones etc. You may even try earplugs or noise canceling headphones. Meditate or just rest, taking in the sound of silence.

5.  Laugh!  It really is the best medicine. No matter how bad things are,  laughter is one of the most important ingredients for emotional health. Studies have shown that laughter actually boosts the immune system and triggers the release of endorphins which are the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.  They can even help to relieve pain. Treat yourself to a funny movie or sitcom and feel your stress melt away.

6. Give freely to others.  Yes, this really is a gift to yourself.  Giving freely of our time, love and compassion brings out our humanity and makes us feel good. Pay attention to your body the next time you hold the door open for someone or have a conversation with the lonely elderly person in the neighborhood.  Can you feel your heart open just a bit wider?  The pain in your body not quite so noticeable?

7. Get physical. I can’t write this without thinking about Olivia Newton John!  Whether it is the physical activity Ms. John sang about (great for the immune system, by the way!), or any other, movement will always make you feel good.  Exercise does not needs to be a scheduled workout, and it should never feel like punishment.  Adjust your routine to include taking the stairs, doing housework, walking instead of riding, and your body will thank you in so many ways.

8. Sleep.  You would have to be living under a rock these days not to know how important this is to your health. The truth is, unless you are getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night, your body is not able to repair and rejuvenate like it needs to. My friend, Mary, is blessed with unrivaled sleeping skills, and the only person I know who always gets enough sleep and the good health to show for it. Some people have to work a little harder than others to achieve optimal rest – it’s just their constitution.  For better rest try sleeping in a dark room, wearing an eye mask and ear plugs, not eating past 7 pm and getting sufficient exercise during the day. Also, remember to shut down all electronics early in the evening and give yourself plenty of down time before bed.  Which leads me to #9…

9. Disconnect! Cell phones, land phones, computers, televisions, video games, iPods, etc., etc.,  sometimes it feels like we are becoming androids. For all the convenience technology provides, this constant stimulation can have very negative effects on our health. Adrenal Fatigue can result from over-stimulation and the dangers of talking/texting while driving and walking are now well known. Leave the multitasking in the office and practice focusing on one thing at a time.

10. Spend time in nature. Kick your shoes off (if the weather is right), hug a tree (just embrace it), sit by the water, feel the snow on your face, revel in the wonders of the sun and the moon and the ebb and flow of nature and life.  If you can do this for even 5-10 minutes during your busy day, it will recharge your battery better than any prescription drug can.

11. Breathe.  This is no joke, it is easy to forget to breathe well. I think I lived an entire period of my life practically holding my breath. Breathing in we take in life-sustaining oxygen and breathing out we rid the body of toxins. Remember, a proper, deep breath is when the belly goes out on the in breath and retracts on the exhale. Place your hand on your abdomen to see whether you are breathing properly. Even better is a big fat audible sigh (ahhhhh, or whoooosh) on the breath out. It’s a great stress reliever.

12. Spend time doing something you love each day.  For one person, it’s reading a book; for another it’s watching an old movie.  Relax your body and mind and nourish your soul by spending quality time with yourself – even if only for half an hour.  If this is something that always gets pushed to the back burner for you, put a post-it on your bathroom mirror or schedule it into your daily calendar.  Sounds silly, but until it becomes a habit, a gentle reminder never hurts.

13. (It’s a baker’s dozen) Give yourself a break!  Nothing on this list is earth-shattering or anything that you haven’t heard before. If you fail to give yourself one of these gifts (I did not give myself the gift of disconnecting this evening because I was determined to finish this newsletter!) give yourself a break instead and start anew.  That’s the beauty of life – each moment, each day affords us the opportunity to start from scratch.

Much love,                                                                                                                                                      Barbara

The body knows and we need to respect this. If we are particularly connected, we may not even physically feel anything – we just know. The important thing that we have to realize is that this is not just about putting a bandaid on or taking a pill that seemingly fixes the problem. Almost always, there’s a deeper underlying issue.

Having fibromyalgia was perhaps my biggest message – more like a blaring siren, that I needed to take care of some big imbalances in my life. I had ignored all the other symptoms, now my body was threatening to shut down, go on strike. What did I learn from six years of debilitating pain? Well, there are too many things to list here (stay tuned for the book) – but I will say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It woke me up, it shook me up, and it made me take a hard look at myself and at my life. It changed me. Yup, the pain was worth it. I survived and am stronger for it today.

I really thought my recovery from fibromyalgia was the defining moment and that I was home free. Ha! We are humans living in these bodies and old patterns (some from past lives) die hard. So, two years ago when I had whooping cough and came pretty close to leaving this planet, I remember thinking “Really??? Again??? What is my body teaching me NOW?”

While recovering from this illness, I learned that the lungs are a repository for grief and that unprocessed grief can lead to all kinds of sickness. (You can read more about the heart and lung connection to grief here.) Months later, an acupuncturist told me that my body still held so much grief that it was “in my bones.” This would have terrified most people but I remember calmly asking what I could do to release it. After all, I didn’t even feel sad. Without answering me, she inserted a completely painless needle in the area of my lungs and within seconds I felt as though a tsunami was rising inside of me. Tears began to pour out and I sobbed uncontrollably for a good ten minutes. She was a powerful healer but it was just a start. The rest was up to me.

It took my lungs a full year to recover and you better believe I have a whole new respect for them. When they talk to me now, I listen!

One way I process what my body is ‘saying’ is to journal, journal, journal. That’s the mantra of my energy medicine teacher, Deborah King. There’s no better medicine to draw out buried emotions lurking in the body and threatening illness. Writing our thoughts down, no matter how horrible they seem, literally releases them from our cells. If the thought of someone finding your journal prevents you from writing the truth, use a password-protected journaling program on your computer. Don’t censor. Let it all out. Truth Heals is the title of Deborah’s first book and it’s a great place to start to learn about how the truth can set you free and keep you healthy.

Sound far-fetched? I would have thought so too a few years ago. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older that these questions are more pervasive, but I think it’s more likely due to a deep shift in my beliefs over the past few years and especially after my partner Ralph’s recent death. Raised Catholic, I never gave any thought to the possibility of reincarnation, even though more cultures than not believe in the concept. This is about spirituality, not religion, I’ve learned. Big, big difference.  At any rate, it’s a fascinating subject to explore, if you have an open mind.

One of the many books recommended to me after Ralph’s passing was Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz, which introduced me to the idea of a soul contract based on the belief that we actually plan our life before we’re born. This fascinated me and so I considered it synchronicity when a fellow energy medicine student named Katie Carlone (katie.carlone@gmail.com) mentioned that she does soul contract readings. I jumped at the opportunity to see what it was all about. Believe me, I would not be writing about this if what Katie revealed to me had not blown me away. I would have kept this quietly to myself, but it was so amazing that I felt compelled to share my experience with you.

In an hour-long reading with Katie (which she records for you to keep) she uncovered and validated many energetic patterns in my life. She talked about how I came into this world with an intense and deeply emotional energy (I’m sure family members will agree here) and that I possessed  archetypal patterns of the artist, the nature lover and the healer, among others. I laughed when she said that I could sit for hours in nature gazing at something beautiful. (I’m obsessed with clouds and trees!) Katie said that in general I like a slower pace, steady and methodical, and that I like to linger. I loved that! People who know me may think this is just the opposite of how I appear, but I can see that when I operate at a frenetic pace, I’m out of control and not very happy. She also mentioned that I’m very intuitive and that I need to use my creative abilities to dissipate excess emotion or my body gets sick. Wow. That one was spot on. I’ve been aware of this pattern for years, and yet have unwittingly repeated it more times than I’d like to admit. This is just a tidbit of the information I was given. If you find it intriguing, I would highly recommend a reading with Katie. She’s a lovely, down-to-earth intuitive and life coach whose insight could change your life.

So who’s the little girl in the picture above? That’s me (or Barbie, as I was known back then). Believe it or not, I can still recall how I felt when that picture was taken. Happy, but painfully shy. It fascinates me now to look (really look) at old pictures and re-connect with that little girl, or the teenager, the young adult, etc. who is still a part of me and always will be in this special lifetime.

Much love,
Barbara

It’s quite a journey that you take with your children. From the moment I first held Brian in my arms, I could sense certain things about his spirit that I’ve watched remain intact through all the ups and downs of life.  That impish grin? It’s still there. And that independent spirit – Brian was about the same age as he is in the picture when he started watching cooking shows on tv. I remember thinking “he’s going to be a chef one day” and I would often suggest that he get a job in a restaurant to see how he liked working in the kitchen. He would say that he didn’t want to work for someone else, that he was going to own his own restaurant some day. And sure enough, when he was 28 years old, he did.

Brian was my first libra. And I think it was when my other libra, Ralph, passed away in May that I realized just how our mother/son dynamic had shifted. Brian rushed here with his sister, Amy, to be by my side and to help ease my grief. He has been vigilant about checking up on me and not letting me feel like I’m alone. Yep, he’s a man now, and I’m so proud of him.

I love libras. My other libra would have been 50 today. I always marveled at how Brian and Ralph had birthdays one day apart, how they both loved to cook, how they were both innately shy and sensitive but had that libra quality of drawing people in. When Brian first met Ralph eight years ago, he was a little wary and protective of me dating someone. But the two of them soon bonded and always loved spending time together. Ralph would have been so proud (but not at all surprised) at how Brian stepped in to keep an eye on me.

This morning I took some of Ralph’s ashes and set out along the bike path that we must have traveled hundreds of miles together over the years. It was our favorite thing to do and the weather was flawless. I visited all of our usual spots up and down the Hudson river and sprinkled his ashes where we used to stop and rest – Ralph basking in the sun, and me, sitting under a tree in the shade. As I was approaching my final destination – the end of the bike path down by the Statue of Liberty, I got a flat tire. How many times had Ralph said to me ” Barbara, your tires need air. Barbara, you need new tires.” It was shot. I had to smile as I walked my bike all the way back home. I guess it’s time I learned how to change a bike tire and what to do when the chain comes off!

So, today I’m celebrating my libras. I hope that you are lucky enough to have one in your life. If you don’t know anything about libras, you can learn all about them here!

Just about every visit I’ve had with Dr. Francis leaves me feeling centered, whole and (you guessed it!) inspired. On this last visit I found myself teeming with ideas for what I’m going to do, who I’m going to become, and how I can help others along the way. I was also infused with a sense of fulfillment and gratitude for what I have already become. Let me add that I’ll be turning 59 this year. It’s never too late to discover what we were meant to do in this lifetime, and never underestimate our ability to be inspired or to inspire others – no matter what our age.  I believe that there is a chain reaction of sorts, and the force of inspiration is far-reaching. Dr. Francis has inspired me, helped to awaken my sleeping creativity, and I plan to pay it forward, as they say.

I don’t think there is a greater compliment than to have someone say you’ve inspired them. So, who has inspired you lately? I would love to hear from you!

With love,                                                                                                                                Barbara